a little overdramatic

I just want to have the biggest cry of my life. Everything is falling apart.. maybe for the better, maybe not. No way to tell until it's all said and done. I'm so lost.

A good day!

Today is actually a GOOD DAY!

My babies and Steven left Sunday morning to go spend the week in FL with his dad. They are doing tons of shopping and going and eating out and all the good fun stuff I always miss out on. Oh well, I've got a ton of stuff going on this week anyways so I guess it's better that way.

My classes started Thursday and I'm STILL trying to get my financial aid stuff situated so I can (finally) pay my tuition and get my books. I have assignments due on wednesday (tomorrow!) at 11:59 p.m. that I need to get done. I have to go to the DMV to get my license (well, switch it from one state to another) so I can get my in state tuition. Then I can get my books and all will be well in school-land.

Speaking of the DMV.. I went yesterday first thing in the morning to go get my license. The first guy I talked to was super nice, told me I had all the documents I needed and I was all set, just listen for your number and blah blah blah. Great! So they finally call my number (Ah, I say it like it was a long time but the wait was really only 10 - 15 minutes, and for anyone who has ever been to a DMV you know that's pretty good!) So I get back to the desk to start doing my tests (vision, signs and written) and the guy there was a complete and total asshole! He told me I needed proof of insurance for this state, which I guess makes sense but the state DMV website says they are able to issue a license without proof of insurance, but there will be a restriction on the license. No biggie, I guess. So this man is so hell bent on proving me wrong. He gets up and starts looking all over for a handbook. "Didn't you read your handbook?!" he asks me in a disgusting tone. Well no shit I read the handbook... I'm here to take the tests, right? I told him to just give me my shit back so I could go.

At that point I was beyond frustrated.. I was ready to just say "FUCK IT!" and drop all my classes and just wait until spring. I couldn't get a hold of Steven on the phone and he's usually my voice of reason since he's so, so much more level headed than I am. So I go home and start looking on the computer to see what I can do to just go ahead and get it taken care of so I can get my in state tuition and get it over with. Then I had the brilliant idea to call my dad and see if he would be willing to add me to his insurance so I can get this stupid license. So I called the DMV again and the lady I talked to said that would be fine. So he went this morning and added me on his policy and faxed me a copy to my work. So that is all done and I'll go back to the DMV first thing in the morning again to try to get my license. Hopefully I can get my books tomorrow because I really, really need to get these assignments done ASAP.

Other than that, today has been good! I had an interview this morning at 11 and a home visit from Carter's teacher at 10:30. I thought to myself, "Oh shit, I'm cutting it a little close." but explained to the teacher yesterday that I had an appointment right around the corner from my house and I needed to be there at 11. She understood so we whirled through all the paper work and information she had for me and they were on their way. I brushed my teeth and went to go run out the door... and the phone rings. It was my mother. Awesome. So I picked it up and told her really quick that I was on my way out the door for an interview that I'm on the verge of being late for and I would call her back as soon as I was done.

So I get to my interview JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME (whew!) and it went amazing! She told me I was very qualified and we talked a bit and she told me she couldn't "officially" offer me the job yet since all the paper work has to be completed within 3 days of an offer being made... but we discussed my (crazy!) schedule and pay and everything and she told me to come back Monday to do paper work and training. She is going to hire me as a keyholder which is really exciting! It pays better than a regular employee and the shop is 5 minutes tops from my house. Since the "boss lady" lives 45 minutes away, she said she needed someone close who could come in in the evenings if someone called out or if they needed to shut down the shop for the night. She told me they are a VERY family oriented place (which would almost be a given, if I told you lovely readers the name of the place, haha) Closed on Christmas, close early on Christmas Eve, close at 6 on Saturday's and only open a few hours on Sunday.

I was seriously so, so close to not even look for another job anymore. I mean, the job I have now is a cake job and it does pay the bills but there isn't much left over after everything is said and done. I've been looking for months and have gone to probably a dozen interviews and been either passed over or just never heard back. That will really take a toll on someones morale after a while. I guess this whole "be persistent" thing is really working out for me and I am getting a lot more done by being proactive rather than sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I think I have changed a lot in the last few months, and for the better.

Hopefully this is the beginning of something good!

Feeling very PROUD today :)

TODAY!!! was the first day of classes for me! I'm taking three online classes and one on campus class. I work (on campus) after 1 p.m. so I took a M-F 12 to 12:50 p.m. class. It gives me just enough time to haul ass across campus before I have to be at my desk. So far, so good though!

I still need to work out the specifics on my in state/out of state tuition. As long as I can get an in state license ASAP I will be able to get the in state rate which is 1/4 of the out of state rate. *pick jaw up on floor* $670 for 10 credit hours vs. $2610 for the same 10 credit hours. NO THANKS! So I'm going to go tomorrow I guess and see if I can get a license. Then all will be smooth sailing!

Today I'm going to go pick up my books after I get off and get my student ID. Two of them I'm going to order through Amazon because they have great deals on textbooks. The other ones need to have an access code for parts of the class so I'm going to just buy the books at the bookstore on campus.

So basically today I feel amazing and accomplished and like I'm on my way to doing something great with my life. Baby steps, of course. But baby steps are better than no steps at all. It will be sooooo worth it in the end.

Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.

This is totally me. Sure, I have known for months that fall semester starts in August and everything HAS to be done before then. I did my FAFSA back in January and it was all processed and ready to go... or so I thought. I went to go register on Friday after being "deathly ill" all week with a man cold. Picked out my classes, got all ready and then BAM!!! That wall I'm always running into? Yeah. There it is again.
Come to find out my school has me classified as an out of state student (paying 4 times the tuition of an in state student) AAAAAAAND on top of that, no financial aid! Awesome. So today I went with another girl in my department and she got me seen quick fast and in a hurry when it would have been impossible to be seen. My financial aid was in suspension from when I was 18 and I had asked months ago to have it appealed. Instead of appealing and reinstating... they just left it "on the list" of appeals. What? Luckily that was a relatively easy fix and is now taken care of.
I turned in my appeal packet for residency so now I'm just waiting to hear back from that. I have called the assistant registrar twice this afternoon to see if it's going to be possible to get it taken care of today. If I don't get my residency taken care of then more than likely I will not be taking classes this semester :( The difference between what my Pell covers and what the total costs not including books is anywhere from $400 to $600 depending on how many credit hours I take. I really just don't have that kind of money to just give away. Soooo.. we wait and see.

Anyways, about my man cold. I was down and out completely for THREE DAYS with a fever and chills and a demon cough from hell. Took Monday off work to not infect anyone else in the office with me. Finally back to normal now except this terrible demon cough. Ugh... if only Ava hadn't dumped the rest of my cough drops into a bottle of water and shook it out all over her bedroom floor.

Down & Out

Ugh. I have been miserably sick since Friday. Well, it started Friday. I felt "off" but was well enough to come into work. Saturday morning I woke up and felt like I had been run over by a bus. Spent all day sleeping and downing Tylenol and cold medicine and bottles of water. Sunday wasn't much better but we did the usual lunch with my dad at my house (grilled bbq ribs, potato salad, yum!) I slept the rest of the afternoon on Sunday also. Monday I woke up and STILL felt terrible. I called into work and slept all afternoon again while still taking meds and drinking water. Woke up and felt a little better. Laid around on the couch for the rest of the evening.

This weekend was Tax Free weekend here so I had anticipated going and getting the kids some stuff for school but of course, no dice. Oh well.

I realized before I came to work that I haven't eaten since Sunday. I'm just not hungry and don't have a flavor for anything.

Putting on that CAN DO attitude :)

Another uneventful weekend gone. Had dinner with my dad on Sunday like we always do. Carter ate like a horse and Ava didn't do so bad herself. I called it a few weeks ago.. I told Steven when Carter was eating like a bird, "Watch.. in a few weeks he will eat up everything in the house. It's a growth spurt." Good thing we haven't done out school shopping yet. It won't be long though, only three weeks until my babies go back to school! Bittersweet for sure.. I will miss them in the mornings before I go to work but it will be so good for both of them. This will be Carter's first year of school at all and I'm sure he is going to do well and enjoy it. It will be Ava's second year, and honestly I think she needs the structure. She is so out of sorts right now, and I'm sure she misses being a social butterfly.

Tonight we are going to try a new recipe for dinner.

Sausage Stuffed Zucchini Boats from Skinny Taste. It definitely does look delicious so I can't wait to see how it turns out. I follow her on Pinterest and she has tons of amazing (and healthy!) recipes. I want to try them all.. seriously! I'll be sure to report back on this one :)

OH! Our feline house guest went home.. finally!! Steven dropped him off Saturday afternoon, after he completely attacked him! I felt so bad for the poor guy (the cat.. haha) but he needed to be someone elses problem. We spent the afternoon cleaning out his cage and getting him all ready to go then cleaning off the patio where he was hanging out. However, Steven's right hand is swollen and a little bit red/warm but not toooooo bad. He kept asking me for advice about what to do, if I thought it was infected, etc. I told him to take some Tylenol to reduce the swelling (which helped immensely) and if he was really concerned to either go to the ER or call up the nurses line and see what they say. He has some scratched further up on his wrist/forearm and a few very small puncture woulds from the bite. He (the cat) held on to Steven like a tree branch, it was definitely a sight to see. I tried my hardest to not giggle, really I did.

Hopefully by the end of the week I will be all registered for school.. I hope. It seems like every time I have tried to enroll, something always backfires and I end up saying "next semester..." and "next semester" never comes. I feel like I'm ready to take on some regular curriculum classes this time around, thanks to the pharmacy tech course I took last year/earlier this year. (It's not what I feel a passion for and do not plan to pursue it but it did give me a lot of information that is helpful in day-to-day life, especially with kids!) I figure, if I'm still only working part time and there are no full time prospects on the horizon, then the absolute least I can do is take some classes and work towards something. So, wish me luck!

Can I do a favor for you?

WARNING!! RANT AHEAD!

So this past Sunday night, I started "cat sitting" for a relative of a friend. It's a male cat and he is neutered so I didn't think it would be a huge deal. It has ended up being so much more and it has snowballed into such a bigger situation. And now... now I am just fed up with it.

So the cat stayed in the house Sunday night. Abbie sleeps in her kennel at night and Breezy sleeps with Ava in her room at night so I wasn't worried about any fights or anything. I wake up monday morning to the pleasant aroma of cat piss wafting through my house. Wonderful. So I ended up taking the day off from work to stay home and clean all the floors and everything hoping like hell to get the stench out. It helped a lot, but I'm not totally convinced it is completely gone.

So I kick the cat to the porch, inside his big wire cage. He's hanging out in the shade with food and water and has been there ever since. I have to scrub down the whole patio with a broom and some kind of cleaning agent (bleach? Dawn? vinegar? all of the above, maybe?) to get the cat smell out... that's not an overly huge deal though.

So Steven calls cat owner this morning and tells them that he will be bringing the cat back to them tonight. They proceed to ask Steven if he will register a car in his name for them... absolutely not. Mom got a DWI about 3 years ago and is not even close to getting her license back. Daughter can't get a license even though she is 16 because she dropped out of school almost a year ago and they won't grant her one. Why do unlicensed drivers need a car and even more than that, why does it have to be in mine/his/our names? Absolutely not. Moreso, "if" Steven were to put the car in his name, he would need to get insurance on it. Even if "they pay it", if they don't then they will suspend Steven's license. Not to ask anyone to go out on a limb for them or anything.

So I get to work in the afternoon and cat owner texts me to ask if she can come (with her chihuahua) and stay the weekend at my house. I told her we weren't going to be home, so no. Then I told her we are taking the cat back to her tonight.. then she asks if I can send her some cat food because they don't have any. I already know this, because they didn't bring any cat food on SUNDAY when they brought the cat over anyways so it has been up to me to feet this monster. I agreed to send some cat food for him.

The cherry on top was when cat owner/daughter texts me AGAIN and asks me if I can bring her a pack of cigarettes too "because she's in a bad mood." You wanna know something, sweetheart? You are putting me in a bad mood with all these favors you are asking of me. When I do something for her, I don't even get a thank you or anything out of it. Last weekend she texted us on sunday asking if we would pick her up and take her to Walmart to get a card for her phone. Whatever, we had to go to Walmart anyways and to 2 other stores in the same strip mall so it wasn't a big big deal. We are all loaded up in the car (Me, Steven, and 2 kids in carseats) and she texts asking if I am coming alone. STOP BEING PICKY! You are getting a free ride after I go out of my way to pick you up. She said she had like $6 and would give it to us for taking her. Cool, a couple of bucks in the pocket for our effort. Do you think she thought to give it to us before she got out of the car? Of course not! So Steven texted her later that night reminding her about the $6 and she told him she forgot and bought a pack of cigarettes with it instead. Real. Fucking. Nice.

So basically the jest of the story is that I'm DONE being taken for a ride by these people who don't want to do shit for themselves. I'm done trying to take care of MY family AND theirs. It's not my responsibility and it's not up to me. NO MORE. I am completely fed up with the way some people can  have such little disregard for other people and their belongings.

Get your own fucking ride from now on because this gravy train won't be returning.